Speech! Speech!

first off- I'd like to thank my gardener, my cousin's therapist and the local EMT squad. If it hadn't been for all of them- I'd never have made it to see you here tonight on this occasion: the inaugural meeting of the Guild for Grammatolatry Obstreperous Tardis and Cat Lovers.

Oh! Wait!

Wrong speech. Cheezy grin!

Okay- I was yanking your chain! I'll admit it! You knew to expect it! Admit it- if you read my blog- you already KNOW me and how I love to say "gotcha!". But, the audience I presented the following speech to this morning doesn't have that type of rapport with me, nor have they had the opportunity to read y'stdays entry (some of which I used and will be repetitive to you) and it worked! You should have SEEN the expressions on the faces! Too bad the camera was trained on me! I'd have given anything for you to have seen Dr. A's face!

I made it through my first speaking assignment. And, it was fun...once I quit shaking!

To be honest- I was as nervous as a cat; and you could almost see me shedding. No- wait. I already had that on there, compliments of Samson! If there is someone to be acknowledged- it would be Sam. He sat with me through all the drafts. And, the practice speeches. He's a very good listener. If you want to practice your speech- come on over... he'll listen. Wrigley will, too- but, he won't sit through the whole thing without begging for a treat.

Anyway- I made an 94% for an autobiographical speech. Get this-- he counted off for (his quote) "you keep standing on one leg". DUH! Yeah? No kidding! HA! I wonder if I should tell him you can't count off for disability? I'm just not even going there! I'm happy enough with 94. If he gave me those points back then some of those freshmen would have to really work their fannies off. Nah. One of the young women is Pakistani (sp?) and she REALLY did a beautiful job on her speech- that's who those freshman really have to compete. She's a whippersnapper!

However, next week's speech is "informational" and I also have to have one for Life-Fit that is health-related but not a "worn-out" topic. One student is a ballerina and will discuss special diet for their skin needs and another is to present how to get the proper fit of shoes. This is a no-brainer for me. I'm going to speak on Factor-V and blood disorders. Kill two birds with one speech and let him "figure it out". I really do look forward to hearing those speeches in Life-Fit though! It's a kinda cool class... the focus is more on the training aspect than the nutritional and I'm being encouraged to join the Health club as there is a Zumba instructor in our midst and she's just SURE I'll love it and she's gonna work with me (no charge!) on other regimens. Woohoo! I'd better buy a new bra- ROFL!

Oh. Zumba. https://www.zumba.com/index.cfm

And.... now.... for the Speech! Forgive the outline form. It was required and I'm not gonna go reformat now- hey! I'm a college student! I need to be STUDYING not BLOGGING for pete's sake! But, this is where I get most of my thoughts released-- so.... without further ado.....

I. Introduction:

To describe my life thus far as typical- would be accurate. Except for the UFOs. LIke many of you, (students of traditional age), I never really figured out what I wanted to do with my life- a friend likens this familiar scenario to a “wireless router looking for an IP address”. As a 20-year old, the one thing I really knew- “for sure & for cert” was: that I wanted to be married and to be a mother. That’s when the UFOs began to appear. They’ve been showing up regularly ever since. I probably should explain. My term UFO describes an UnFinished Object- not an extraterrestrial.

My reason for taking this Oral Communications course is to begin attacking the UFO’s and this assignment offers a chance to reflect on what will be necessary to “making the connections.”

II. Defining me by my different names and how I got them is one way to figure out where I’ve been and identifies a UFO.

A. My legal name is Sarah S~~~ K~~~ D~~~~. I am named for one great-grandmother and another g-grandmother’s family.

B. Most of my friends and family call me Sally- a recognized nickname for Sarah- (like Jim for James). Some call me Sarah-Sally. When I was in the first-grade a student from the local Indian reservation transferred to our class and the only English word she knew was our name: Sarah. It was much easier for me to answer to the nickname and let her be called by the more formal name.

C. My son calls me “Mom”. I’ve had that name for almost 21 years.

D. My virtual persona is arkyartist. I create and write under that name. The prefix “arky” is because I was born in Fayetteville and called the Razorbacks even while growing up in Texas. The suffix “artist” is the title I’d like most to legitimize. It’s the name that I struggle with the most. It’s what I view as an UFO because I want it to be bona fide.

III. Defining me by the jobs and positions I’ve filled is yet another way to see the unfinished portions of “me” and just how I arrived here.

A. I have been a laborer and a storeroom-maintenance clerk in a sawmill. I know what a babbitted bearing is & how to grade logs.

B. I have been a cash-audit clerk for a major retailer, a secretary for this University and a self-taught advertising compositor for the local newspaper. I have freelanced sports-photography, designed advertisements for national publications, billboards and web-sites It fueled the desire to become a graphic-artist and people I’ve worked with have used that as my job-description even though I’ve never completed a design course.

C. I have been a Sunday school teacher, an AWANA Commander, a coach for a state-ranked Odyssey of the Mind team, served as a school board member for a Christian School and am Constitution chairman for the local chapter of the Daughters of the American Revolution.

D. I am a caregiver for my 97-year old grandmother, my family & pets. I serve coffee and a smile!

IV. Reviewing my past educational experience illustrates how I set myself up for my UFO encounters and how I can better prepare to address them this time and identify more potentials.

A. I started college after having graduated high school and like so many other young people- didn't really have a clear goal of what I meant to do with that experience. Perhaps, it was because actually becoming an interior designer or architect seemed so unrealistic that the part of figuring out how to "get there" never even got to the drawing-board.

B. In 1980 I declared business as my major (thought secretarial science was being phased out by that time) and most of the classes I took were preparing me for an office-related vocation. From the looks of the transcript, I'm ill-suited for that area. Though I'd like to think that I've got a head for the classic term of "pencil-pushing", I'm not really good at doing anything more than organizing and filling in the blanks on forms. To be honest- I don't enjoy it much.

C. I am much more inclined for the abstracts like art or creative-writing and this time I'll pursue pushing a different type of pencil. In a bold move, I declared a double major of Art and English.

D. My plans may change again and I might only take a minor in English. I’m flexible, the important thing is it’s all working towards completion of a project.

Conclusion:

From a more mature perspective and having lived a little- this educational experience will be different and fulfilling. Identifying the lists of achievements, UFOs, and reviewing my transcript; better allows me to acknowledge my strengths & weaknesses, visualize new dreams and act upon them. If I can finish in three years- it will have taken me 30 years from start to finish and will banish at least one UFO.

T H E E N D

Now- I'm off to find some grub! and to work on tomorrow's assignments! Ciao!