Ninety-nine

The Birthday Week!!

Our Grandmother, Mae, is turning 99 this week!!
This is she out for a little evening walk.

And, this is what a birthday girl does after that little walk!

These are some of the garden pretties she had to admire!!

Be an EGGhead like me!!

If'n you're already my friend... won't you be a pal and add* the Hatchlings App so I can find more eggs?

I wasn't gonna do this...
I wasn't gonna get so darned addicted to F/B and all the little apps... and here I am.
Addicted.

Well- at least it's not dope, right?
Oh. Wait... maybe it's related to meth? MethEGGphetamines? Nah. Couldn't be related.

But, I was going to wean off this... until I talked to Mshell this afternoon. DARN IT. I got her to not only open a F/B account but to add the app, too!! ARGH. Then... yes, we were talking on the phone and computing together (silly, I know!) and before I know what she's done- she's incubated nine of the eggs!

NINE!! Good grief! I never EVER keep more than five! The problem is- I agreed to help her feed all the critters while she's off line... which is the biggest part of the time since she's not gotten the internet hooked up since their last move and only is online when she goes to Hastings and hooks up on their Xanadu or whatever.

Oh, NO!! I can't have all those little critters starving because of me!! And, when they first hatch out you have to feed them FIVE eggs each just to get them filled up! Ohmi!!

Before I know it... I've collected over 100 in ONE DAY!! Ohmigosh! And, two Special Edition eggs and two elusive ones to boot! Good GRIEF!

I've been EGGwinked! Where, oh, WHERE can I get EGGstra eggs?? Please add hatclings if you haven't already.. and add Mshell to your friends (link off of me) so you can help me feed her dang-blasted eggs.

ROFL. I need to get a life. Oh, wait. I already HAVE A LIFE!! I need to LIVE IT! and walk the dawgs. Right after I get through feeding the Hatchling critters.

Cheezy grin... like my new eggcelent portrait!? Art students will be interested to know that I didn't use real egg tempra like the old masters on the frescos.. but, I thought of it!

Disclaimer: No eggs were harmed in the writing of this post. Yolk, yolk, yolk.




*If you haven't done so already?

Yankee Doodle Dandy!

A good day for a history lesson,dontcha think?

Everybody sing along...
ya know this tune, guys 'n gals!

Fath'r and I went down to camp,
Along with Cap'n Goodin',
And there we saw the men and boys
As thick as hasty puddin'.
Yankee Doodle keep it up,
Yankee Doodle dandy,
Mind the music and the step,
And with the girls be handy.
And there we saw a thousand men
As rich as Squire David,
And what they wasted every day,
I wish it could be saved.
Yankee Doodle, keep it up, etc.
The 'lasses they eat it every day,
Would keep a house a winter;
They have so much, that I'll be bound,
They eat it when they've mind ter.
Yankee Doodle, keep it up, etc.
And there I see a swamping gun
Large as a log of maple,
Upon a deuced little cart,
A load for father's cattle.
Yankee Doodle, keep it up, etc.
And every time they shoot it off,
It takes a horn of powder,
and makes a noise like father's gun,
Only a nation louder.
Yankee Doodle , keep it up, etc.
I went as nigh to one myself
As 'Siah's inderpinning;
And father went as nigh again,
I thought the deuce was in him.
Yankee Doodle , keep it up, etc.
Cousin Simon grew so bold,
I thought he would have cocked it;
It scared me so I shrinked it off
And hung by father's pocket.
Yankee Doodle, keep it up, etc.
And Cap'n Davis had a gun,
He kind of clapt his hand on't
And stuck a crooked stabbing iron
Upon the little end on't
Yankee Doodle, keep it up, etc.
And there I see a pumpkin shell
As big as mother's bason,
And every time they touched it off
They scampered like the nation.
Yankee Doodle, keep it up, etc.
I see a little barrel too,
The heads were made of leather;
They knocked on it with little clubs
And called the folks together.
Yankee Doodle, keep it up, etc.
And there was Cap'n Washington,
And gentle folks about him;
They say he's grown so 'tarnal proud
He will not ride without em'.
Yankee Doodle, keep it up, etc.
He got him on his meeting clothes,
Upon a slapping stallion;
He sat the world along in rows,
In hundreds and in millions.
Yankee Doodle, keep it up, etc.
The flaming ribbons in his hat,
They looked so tearing fine, ah,
I wanted dreadfully to get
To give to my Jemima.
Yankee Doodle, keep it up, etc.
I see another snarl of men
A digging graves they told me,
So 'tarnal long, so 'tarnal deep,
They 'tended they should hold me.
Yankee Doodle, keep it up, etc.
It scared me so, I hooked it off,
Nor stopped, as I remember,
Nor turned about till I got home,
Locked up in mother's chamber.
Yankee Doodle, keep it up, etc.
Gen. George P. Morris

Happiness is.....

That line is a family favorite!

"Happiness is...."

It's July. 

Summer in Arkansas. 

Hot, humid with a chance of weather.

And, what is my dh, "Mr B", most consumed with?

HOME HEATING!!

Yup. Fire blocks.

We're ready for the cold February winds to blow now!

Celebrate.... the 3rd of July! in prose!

‘Twas the Third Of July and all through the nation
The colonials were not having three day vacations
“Intolerable!” said Hancock, as loud as he pleased
“I don’t want to work when it’s ninety degrees!”
Jefferson nodded, designing a fan.
“It’s beautiful out, let’s make with a plan.
Why can’t we just go out and sit by the lake,
And drink some of that beer that our buddy Sam makes?”
“I agree!” said Ben Franklin, “Plus I have a date!
I don’t want to come in cause my math says that great
are the chances that tonight I’ll make lightning again!”
“Good thing I’ve arrived!” said George Washington.
“Come Bartlett, come Braxton, come Carrol, come Chase!
Come sign this Declaration or I’ll kick in your face!
For we’ve salt water tea and a whole lot of mince pie
(which will fall out of fashion as the years go by)
and we’ll head down to Williamsburg, you’ll love it like me!
It looks like the future, amazing, you’ll see!
We’ll take Whipple’s carriage and pick up Tom Paine
We’ll pump up the Mozart and recite Sturm und Drang!”
“That’s ever so modern!” said young Miss Betsy Ross.
“Can I come along? I won’t be a bit cross.”
“Why of course, Little Betsy,” said Franklin with glee,
“Tell you what, you come ride in the back seat with me.”
And so our Founding Fathers went on their vacation,
And they left an excuse that created a nation.
And they started a trend we now hail with this shirt,
Of saying “Hey, Boss, tomorrow I won’t be into work”.

~~~ Annonymous, but I found it on WOOT!

Lawd, have mercy!

Watch out...

your dinner plans might be rearranged!

This lady demonstrates that she may be on the menu rather than the crabs she intends to boil! For a granny- she's really quick on her toes! And, the German Shepherd is trying his best to help her corral the little buggars!

Dog Days of Summer... a whole 'nother perspective

I have two sick dogs.

A new one we captured a week ago and a very old one.

Wednesday evening Mr Wrigley (13) awoke from a nap and at first I feared a stroke. Turns out he has an inner ear infection and the whole world is spinning- we could tell that by the way his eyes darted everywhere. Our friendly veterinarian Dr W- diagnosed it over the phone that night and recommended Meclazine (thanks Mae for supplying it at 10 o'clock at night) and said he'd see us in the morning.

The same day he got sick, Lil' Miss Reddie had trouble adjusting to the new diet and required extra walks. To make matters worse, one of the medication for inner-ear is steroids (which makes him very thirsty) and we have to take twice as many walks. For an old crippled dog- this is getting more and more difficult. Have you ever tried to walk a drunk home on 2 legs? Try 4! It ain't so easy and at first we did a lot of donuts cuz everything in his perspective is turning towards the right. UGH. That first night was awful, to say the least. I have never had more bugs bites or less sleep, even when we camped all the time.

Socially, Miss Reddie has very much attached herself to Wrigs, though- and he rests better with her nearby and she enjoys the companionship. Right after we got the shots- Byron (drove into work late so he could help us) suggested we take him to my parents house as they have a really nice paved kennel in their garden. That worked pretty well; Mom, Dad, Sandy-dawg, Reddie and I all played nursemaid. I set up the hammock (that friend, Lynette, gave us last year), next to the pen and we all enjoyed the breeze. All things work together for good, eh?

Last night- both dogs slept comfortably and I slept like the dead! This morning- they are both laying in our front yard enjoying the cool. Tabby Tom loves to keep them company and frequently noses each one of them, just as if to say "I'm glad you're home in my garden".

Later this morning, I'll go and check on Mae (I rearranged her apartment this week) and make sure she's still satisfied. I'll probably have to drag the hammock home- so I can relax outside with the dogs and the bullfrogs in the salt-pot on my patio. But- Dad will have to drive over and check on us... He serves the best lemonade to his garden guests... and he spikes it, too! YUM!

The Greatest Show on Earth

and it wasn't a circus!!

Au contraire! It was a BLAST!!

The best part?? People showed up! Real, actual warm-blooded human people! Yippee!!

Of course... I'd begged several. I did feel like I'd imposed on some hot Summer afternoon plans (lemonade and surf, perhaps?) but made the deal sweeter with a table of goodies! So- begging is good, right? Right! Besides... you have to experience art sometimes!!

Oh. Yes. The pictures!! I knew you'd want to see them!! Thanks for asking!

The group photo is of most of our paper-making class. (R-L) front row: Cara Wilsey, Ed Martin (former HSU Art professor and paper guru) and Becky Kight. Back row: Sally Dixon, Laura Larsen, Morgan McMurray, Victoria Walsden and our instructor, David Stoddard.

2nd pic- MIL, Linda, me & friend, Diane.

3rd pic - my Mom, Cindy K and me examining one of my paper dresses.

4th pic - Mom & Me cheezing it up!

Lastly- my BFF, Kim, me and Joanie!

On With the Show!

Summer school and activities are a little bit (well, much more!) informal.

Yesterday the invitations went out.

Today is the Official Opening and Reception.

Today. Wednesday, June 25th. (Note to Mom- no, I was not responsible for getting out the invites this time!)

Since we'd not heard anything- I figured we'd be doing it on Friday. Oh, well. Today it is. Not enough time to get an appointment at the salon or get a much needed manicure. Like I would have done that anyway?

But, I forgot to even tell B about it! He was already asleep and dead to the world when I got the message last night. Oh, well.

I don't really expect it to be a big affair anyway- it's Summertime. In the great big scheme of things, this is probably to my advantage. It's not a big deal (to any but those of us in the class!).

So... on with the show.

Pulp Couture

These photos are from the 2nd week of papermaking studio.

I had been all prepared to enjoy pulling paper with moulds and deckle for the more traditional (flat) compositions that I'm accustomed to making. Then, he wanted some 3-D pieces and suggested molds or casts. I experimented with a few flower molds and kept racking my brain for something to cast.

Finally- it hit me! Kim's wire dress form has had my intrigue ever since she purchased it, to be honest- I've wanted one ever since!

Now, how to get the dress to stay on there and come out of the form? Well- why not a half dress? The first day molding went well and it only took one day to dry. Day two was spent with more experimentation and the overbeaten abaca moulded a little thicker seems to work better. Seeing retired instructor, Ed Martin's, studio and his methods and meticulous documentation of each project makes me realize I need to document more indepth.

Mid-day, I realize I want to do this project as my series but will need more forms. Called Kim and she knew just where to find them at Hobby Lobby, and it was my lucky day since they were on clearance! I loved the differences in sizes and shapes that she found.

The first two are the dresses in progress. The third photo is the dresses drying. And, the fourth photo is a mounted piece.

What a surprise to discover that I really did enjoy the 3-D process and now look forward to sculpting and ceramics when it's time for those classes.

What are you listening to??

Ahhh.... Thursday.

A great day for blues don'tcha think?

Me? Personally, I think any day ending in -y is a great day for blues or jazz!! This morning I'm having "Breakfast with Bubba" on KJAZZ. I'm not real sure when or where I got on board with this site- but, it's been a standard for a few years now. It's out of UCLA....

So- go chill, stream some great jam and enjoy the day.

I feel some art coming on! Will post later if anything worthy comes along.

HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES

Lexophile: LOVERS OF WORDS, is a newly coined phrase and considered to be a neologism. Please see above link for additional information. The following has been widely circulated on the i-net- thanks POP for the forward.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a daycare center where a 3-yr-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist & a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I'll show you A-flat miner.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

Art Anyone?

I am so tired... I've been nothing but a SLUG today!

Maybe it's because it's 100% humidity or maybe it's because my brain has been filled to capacity with Photoshop and Illustrator tutorials- I wake up dreaming that I'm editing vector images!

This is the last assignment I did. Whew- it's even mounted and ready to be turned in (ALL 8 of them are mounted!)..... 3 days EARLY, Mom! Yeah, me!

Pretty simple and way too washed out for me- but, it held its' own during critique, so that's what I'm submitting for grade.


Am looking forward to creating all kinds of new pieces; everything combined will go oh-so-far when I get to printmaking and painting. Starting the papermaking course in 8 days, yippee!!

This weekend, though- is a holiday weekend. The first time EVER in Byron's career that he's not had to fret about whether or not they would be allowed off. It's pretty much a given. A Federal holiday means a day off! WOW! What a huge difference in our way of planning... now if we only had the gas money to GO somewhere, haha.

Happily, the little red mongrel, Mis-Read or Lil' Reddie (no name has been chosen yet) made an attempt at approaching B this afternoon when he thought she might be ready to eat. She's so close to getting over her fear of humans (and cats!) that it shouldn't be too much longer til she makes friends with him and then she'll get shots, neutering and some much needed pest eradication.

Tonight, B grilled some awesome burgers, brats and we hosted another blacksmith buddy, N, for supper. Even J showed up- but, as usual opted out of eating. When the grill started sending smoke the way of Lil' Reddie, she decided that he was coaxing her again and for the first time she didn't run when she saw we were all out on the patio. Yup... it won't be long and I'll have pictures when she does.

Digital Tech Skills • Exposé

2 weeks and millions of image files later....
I have a small body of work ready to present for grade.
Yee-haw.
I'm so excited.
I'm so exhausted.

I think I should use the above text for a composition for him! May do that.... later.

Still have to mount these images- but, the web-images are through and so I can post them here.

These are more of the vector drawings. Reference the last few posts to see the single crayola and key to better understand how the compositions were built upon and studies of gradations, contrast, etc..

Quilted Art Revealed

I failed to post a link to these after teasing them earlier in the month and gifting them over Mother's Day weekend.

While they are technically not quilt squares- they are textile art nonetheless. And, do have a bit of stitching on them, some batting and fabric on both sides.

I call them prayer squares as they can be hung on the wall and be a visual reminder to pray for the JJ's while on their mission journey. The photo of Jocelyn & Jessica (the JJ's as they are affectionately known) and the iconography is Russian and Christian symbols, hearts for the Harts (the host family), crosses, St Basil's cathedral (and it's lovely onion domes), matroyshka dolls and a Russian postmark.

I've got several more made and a couple more to be stitched this next week. BTW-- Mae heartily endorsed them and said that they were very nicely done. She finally understood my desire to integrate modern technique with less traditional methods to create something and I never meant to infer that she was lessening the process of mine (or other's) quilting projects.

A hibiscus by any other name....

is still a hibiscus!

From Illustrator class! a preview of my projects!

Enjoy

Colors EVERYWHERE!!

Yup.

My other vector drawing is.... a color crayon! Rachel's blog-banner inspired me! Thanks Rach!

After manipulating on it all afternoon- I finally played around and made something FUN! Not that all the assignments aren't fun... it's just that some are more so that others.

and, here it is!! 

Go out and COLOR yourself HAPPY!!

But, before you do.... take a look at this! I'm just sure it's Wrigley's long lost family member!!

Notes from Art Class

Illustrator assignment: 

1. Take one simple object
   
2. Photo or scan into photoshop image
   
3. Import into Illustrator, draw object using pen tool. Experiment with layers, vectors, holding handles, etc.
   

Using original image- turn into compound design. 

Experiment with radial rotation, mirror imaging, scaling, etc.

So far, so good..... 

Lace is at Stake!

Elizabeth Gaskell 

painted in 1832 by William John Thomson

The story of Cranford was written 1851-53 and can be found as an e-book on Project Gutenberg.

“This is Cranford. 

Everything unchanging. 

Perpetual. 

A society that knows itself.

A place at peace.”


“Young man! out of my way! we are in the throes of an exceptional emergency!”

“Is someone in need of medical attention?”

“This is no occasion for sport! there is lace at stake!”


Ahhhh… yes! Cranford. Poor kitty.

Happy-it's-not-Mexican-Independence-Day!

or.... Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Oh? And, you thought this holiday was when Mexico celebrated their independence from Spain? Wrong. That would be in September.

Yes, I'd thunked incorrectly, too. Nor is it a Mexican federal holiday. *gasp*

So say many sites I googled and Wikipedia.

History of observance
According to a paper published by the UCLA Center for the Study of Latino Health and Culture, about the origin of the observance of Cinco de Mayo in the United States, the modern American focus on that day first started in California in the 1860s in response to the resistance to French rule in Mexico. The paper notes that "The holiday, which has been celebrated in California continuously since 1863, is virtually ignored in Mexico.

Some Americans would rather that our culture didn't acknowledge this event... but, I think it is an excellent reason to raise our margarita glasses and toast independence at any and all occasions (Gen. Sam Houston would heartily agree!) and especially if it's freedom from the frenchies. Not that I have anything against champagne, the community or the beverage. But... now, about those frogs- absolutely NO ONE wants to have to subordinate to the likes of them.

Our family has almost always recognized this holiday.... yes, we like to eat.... and drink... alot. This is how my parents explained it to us. Keep in mind- we were transplanted and raised Tex-i-can- so celebrating rebellion and independent thought was as natural as having an oil well in your back yard.

Historically, the Mexican people have an inordinate fondness for – indeed, a LOVE of -- MAYONNAISE.

A little known fact surrounding the tragic loss of the Titanic in April, 1912 was that her holds contained several thousand cases of fine French mayonnaise.

After depositing her human cargo in New York, the great ship was to have continued south to a Mexican port where this French delicacy was to be unloaded for distribution there.

When word finally reached Mexico of the loss of the precious cargo to the cold waters of the Atlantic, they declared a national holiday.

It is known as “SINKO DA MAYO.”

A far less well known April holiday.

April 21st was the famed Battle of San Jacinto where General Houston led the charge: yelling and screaming "Remember the Alamo" and woke Santa Anna from his afternoon nap and completely ruin-ated 4 o'clock tea. Today's school children are convinced that the Republic of Texans (that's not to say that they were in fact Republicans) would have won even more quickly had they just climbed up on the monument and fired their weapons down upon the Mexican army below. Makes sense to me.

The Mexican tend to think of the whole affair like a disaster movie; A Tacolips Now.

Yet, they do seem to always get the final word. By sending us all their illegals; practicing superb marketing skills enticing tourists into spending money on their seasides then sending them all home with Montezuma's revenge.

Howsomever- enjoy your empanadas with a little holandaise sauce and pass me a Corona, please?

Project Peek!

I just can't stand it!! I have to share a peek to my newest project that I mentioned the other day....




I'm so excited!!

Oh? And the poor quality of the photo..... duh! It's a SURPRISE for someone special! I can't show it YET!!

P.S. (added 5/26/08) here's the link to the finished project!

Domestic BLISS!!!

Not much rambling here.... just color and form.

This guy's an engineer!

The Engineer's Guide To Cats, by Paul Klusman with TJ Wingard
No animals were harmed in the making of this movie.



Now... remember... the man making, producing and starring in these videos is an engineer.
Here is shown doing his job.

You can lead a horticulture...

You can lead a horticulture..
but you can't make her think!

Ohmigosh! I read that and almost spewed coffee! WHEW!

Okay- I know I'm supposed to be continuing the saga of "Sally's Adventures in Quilting"- but, I'm not! At least I'm not today! Tune in next time for that... I am quilting though!! HA! and Mae did approve!

This morning though... I've been up since before the crack of dawn and in spite of all the coffee am probably gonna have to back and lay-down, but- THIS morning... I've been stamp-surfing for future projects.

Ohmigoodness!! My wish-list just keeps getting larger and larger. Uncle George better hurry up and let me stimulate the economy!

Check out these sites:

River City Rubber Works - the site with the most clever quotes I've seen in a long while!

Try to guess which ones I'm lusting for at GreenPepper Press

The round monogram stamps and interchangeable alphas and the cool new borders by Just Rite!

My Beautiful Sisters! and the textile arts

These dresses are from the 80's.

I'm not going to tell exactly how old these girls are... but- those dresses are well over 20 years old!

The neat thing???

The sisters can still fit in them in 2008!!

You GO, GIRLS!!!

The other neat thing... they were sewed by our grandmother, Mae!

Which brings me to the subject of sewing and textile arts.

Growing up- most of our nice clothes were sewed or altered by our grandmothers. Our mama didn't sew except for that one time one of us had to have a reindeer outfit for the Christmas pageant. The story of how one child appeared looking like an extra terrestrial being is legendary in East Texas.

Mae tried to encourage each of us girls to sew- and sometimes we actually finished a project. Mine usually were whump-sided and she had to do some serious alterations in order for me to wear it even inside the house and it probably wasn't going out in public either.

Grandmother Nancy was always sewing costumes for her drama classes and she had the most luscious fabrics.... all glittery and spangles. Probably not the best for little girls out in public either- but, since I couldn't sew all that well anyway and when I was at her house for too short of a time period to actually finish a sewing project- I made do with just draping and wrapping all those lovely textiles. Had some really great shawls and veils, too!! I decided then and there my sewing efforts should be limited to costume events only and since I attend so few of those- it wasn't going to be necessary for me to have to address the Singer very often.

That's not to say that throughout the years of dear son growing up I got away without sewing... when he was young I did sew several costumes and in a fit of domestic/holiday euphoria a "little Lord Fauntleroy" outfit with a companion jumper for me! No snarky comments on the 80's hair there, sisters... you suffered it, too- remember?

And, isn't Jess just such a sweet little boy?? He was! Still can be at times!

The fact is both my sisters can sew. Very well. One can quilt. As can our SIL, click here for her site! And, my MIL is the best seamstress I know! I'm not sure if she's ever quilted- but, she could if she chose.

Me? I admire their lovely handiwork and love to go to quilt shows; but, just content myself with paint & paper, glue and inks and a rubber stamp that looks like stitches.

Until last month.

I found some fabric on eBay that I just swooned over. At first I thought it was paper and hit the buy-it-now button before realizing it was *gasp* fabric. Oh MAN! What have I done???

Oh, well it's okay. I like pretty fabrics. Occasionally I drool over them in the notions department when I'm selecting some calico for Mae's quilting projects and I do have a small fabric stash that I use to make decorative "puddles" around my house.

Hmmm.... my own quilting project. That can't be tooo hard, right? There are so many mixed media artists out there doing this very thing.... it's do-able! I can quilt! I just know I can! In retrospect the 9 patch square pillow top I made way back in Camp Fire Girls was a bit hideous... but, I've matured since then. Surely I can sew a straight seam- I mean how hard can that be? I can draw a straight line, right? Right!

Fabric arrives. Man! It's so cute! Not quite enough to make a real statement.... go to Hobby Lobby to pick a couple of complimentary patterns to make the project large enough.... oh! There's so many to choose from! I can't choose! I bring home a yard each of seven different patterns. A tad bit overboard but I can easily see me cranking out a dozen or so of these little creations!

Discuss with Mae just how to get started... oh! What a PAIN! I'd forgotten you had to WASH, dry and iron the fabric before you even got to cut it! UGH. BORING!

Now I'm beginning to remember just why I hated whipping up a cute little dress from "McCall's Fast & Easy Only 3 Steps to a Lovely Sundress". My 3 steps- choose fabric, snip, sew. Their 3 steps... includes a 12 page (that is map sized pages by the way) pattern (oh, I'd forgotten how much I hate diagrams, too!) of seam allowances, dart points, bias and selvage compensations, arggghhh.... my blood pressure is going up just recalling it all!

After a chill-pill and a glass of wine- I'm now ready to cut my squares. I remember the old adage; measure once, cut twice. Or is it? Well. Whatever!

Before long I'm going to be the happy quilter working away on my lovely little piece of art, the birds are singing, the creative juices are flowing- I can see myself offering gorgeous pieces of hand-dyed, original textile arts for sale on ETSY and being featured in the likes of "Cloth, Paper, Scissors".

Okay. Straight seam sewing. Not a problem. Because I like to look at projects and figure the short-cuts; I figure sewing all my squares into strips is the most expedient way to get the piece work outta the way and onto the more important (read that FUN part) of quilting.

Snip, zip, strip. This is going fabulously! It's EASY! Three horizontal strips (rows for those of you thinking like a word processor). Now... to combine those three strips into one lovely 9 patch.

Wait a minute... those seams are STRAIGHT! So why is my 9 patch so whumper-sided??? It looks as if some drunk seamstress tried to replicate Picaso in fabric. What's up with THAT?? Why??? Everything was even and symmetrical when they were plain little squares, and again when they were plain little strips. Why can't I do THIS??? Just "sew" you'll know... I was only kidding about the wine earlier- I know better than to try to stitch "under the influence" as it were... but- why aren't these darned squares even????

Take it to Mae. She'll help. You know what she said??? "How do you sew such straight seams?" HA!!! Ta-DAAAHHHHHH! I'm glowing! She also says it's easier to start from the center of the strip and sew out then to try to line everything up from one end and expect the other end to not get stretched in the meantime.

All right..... I'm cooking with gas, now- baby!!

And, then she drops the hammer. "What design do you intend to use for the quilting?". That's easy.... I've heard that term "stitch in the ditch" many times on the quilt shows! Besides-- if it was easy enough for me to straight sew these seams then it was going to be a breeze to do the same with three layers.

But she says...."by machine? Why would you do that? Why would you want anything quilted if it wasn't done by hand? Who would want THAT?" uhhhhh..... I'm flummoxed.

I wasn't intending on doing this project by HAND!!! No WAY!. Hello?? All the quilt-artisans (including my SIL and sister) are quilting with a machine! Hadn't she realized this? No, she'd not by the way... just thought they had extraordinary skill!

*to be continued"

Link to the finished project here.