Don't Allow Politcal Correctness to Infringe on Freedom of Speech

SARAH DIXON
ORAL COMMUNICATIONS
SUMMER II SEMESTER
JULY 31, 2007
PERSUASIVE SPEECH

SPECIFIC PURPOSE: To persuade individuals to recognize that freedom of speech is being compromised when a group decides to limit sports competition because of the use of a mascot that offends an outside group.

CENTRAL IDEA: Using the altered motivated sequence method to state my specific purpose and using analogy to show why political correctness has
gone too far.

I. INTRODUCTION
Imagine, if you will, a neighborhood group of children being rounded up by police for their participation in a role playing game. Their parents arrive at the local lock-up center to regain custody and are faced with the announcement that their children are being held for using hate speech. It seems they had been playing an innocent game of Cowboys and Indians when a group of Native Americans took offense.

TRANSITION: No, this is not a real scenario, but, as ridiculous as it sounds- there are cases being tried where schools and professional sports teams are finding themselves in the position of losing their beloved mascots and traditions. They are essentially being financially hamstringed into relinquishing their identity to satisfy political correctness.

II. ATTENTION STEP/NEED
In 1999 the NFL’s Washington Redskins were told their trademark was canceled- later in 2003 the Federal courts overturned the US Patent & Trademark Office decision that had sided with the complainants (seven American Indian activists that felt they were being insulted) for this same assumption of political incorrectness.

In a bow to public opinion the NCAA in 2005 adopted a policy of declaring the use of Native American mascots by its member institutions to be hostile and abusive and further declaring that member institutions using such imagery will not be allowed to host any NCAA post season championship events.

Last month- Arkansas State University at Jonesboro announced it is retiring their mascot the Indians (formerly Warriors), a treasured mascot that they have used since the first quarter of the 20th century.

TRANSITION:
Role playing is an intrinsic part of play for children of all cultures. For centuries- they have played some form of foe vs. foe and most children will tell you that they enjoyed both sides and the benefits that they had from the characteristics of playing on either side be it: Navy vs. Pirates, Cowboys & Indians, Normans vs. Saxons, Knights vs. Conquerers. Will Pirates, Cowboys, Steelers, etc be the next to fall? Is this such a stretch from children’s role playing to the school’s choice
of mascot?

When does political correctness infringe on Freedom of Speech? For that matter- when should political correctness dictate the expense and upheaval of changing something as traditional as a mascot? Or requiring that students only voice their opinions when in a designated (often remote) location?

I took an informal poll of my son and his friend who both felt as if they were much more censored in what they were allowed to voice in public settings and their freedom of speech was limited. They related to me the instances of Speech Free Zones on college campuses. I was stunned to discover they were correct. These have actually been in place since the 60’s and have had a recent resurgence on both campuses and political settings (such as the Democratic National Convention in 1988).

A poll conducted by Sports Illustrated and reported in the Washington section of National Review indicates that 80% of Native Indians polled were not offended by and further did not feel that schools or teams using Indians as mascots should have to change them. The poll also found that 75 percent of Native Americans don't think the use of these team names and mascots "contributes to discrimination."

Sports Illustrated writer S. L. Price reaches the obvious conclusion: "Although Native American activists are virtually united in opposition to the use of Indian nicknames and mascots, the Native American population sees the issue far differently."

I can even understand no longer accepting new schools membership but for existing schools- shouldn’t they be allowed to continue to practice their adopted traditions? Especially, when there was no harm intended by claiming the role and certainly the vast number of fans that have always considered the use of the mascot as honoring?

On a personal note- I attended a high school who mascot was the Indians, we embraced a rich heritage of the Native American culture and held many of their traditions and honorable rites. It saddens me to think that many communities will eventually lose this adopted sense of unity and pride.

While North Dakota State officials are taking the NCAA to court to challenge its restrictions on the University of North Dakota’s Fighting Sioux nickname. Other schools initially deemed to have unsuitable nicknames by the NCAA have won the right to use their monikers on appeal. They include the Florida State University Seminoles, the Central Michigan University Chippewas and the University of Utah Utes.

IV. VISUALIZATION/SATISFACTION
The political correctness pendulum has been a pivotal bone of contention ever since our Country was founded. It is now swinging again in regards to the right to speak freely in our own country. Most school children are aware of the term “Freedom of Speech” even if they don’t realize that it is the First Amendment in our Constitution also known as the Bill of Rights.

The First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution states: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

If we don’t begin to demand some levity about political correctness we may find ourselves facing the example I gave in my introduction or worse.

V. ACTION (CONCLUSION)
Knowing that there is a fine line between “walking on a fence” and “straddling a fence” - how should responsible citizens respond when challenged by someone who took offense because of their own lack of education or perspective?

We have a clear solution in the First Amendment. What we need to consider is our own exercising of tolerance, I know that to be difficult because there are many things I find offensive in today’s media and society. But, the rights that were laid out by our forefathers allow for each of us to express our own opinions. For instance by playing roles, such as Indians it is not a disparaging action but rather just an expression of community and pride. In regards to team spirit- can we not believe that these teams/schools have chosen these mascots to honor a culture rather than assuming they are making a negative statement about a group of our society?

Martin Luther King said, "people should not be judged on the color of their skin, but on the content of their character." In similar fashion, People should not be judged on the way others might "color" their words, but on the face value of their content.

REFERENCES:

Associated Press. (October 1, 2003) Judge: Insufficient evidence name is offensive. Retrieved July 28, 2007 from:
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=1628425

NCAA Sports. (June 22, 2007) Arkansas State to change mascot. Retrieved July 28, 2007 from: http://www.ncaasports.com/story/10233982

J.C. Fullerton and J. Dixon. Interview. July 26, 2007.

David L. Hudson Jr. (September 13, 2005) Free Speech on Public College Campuses: Free-Speech Zones. Retrieved July 27, 2007 from: http://www.firstamendmentcenter.org/speech/pubcollege/topic.aspx?topic=free-speech_zones

John Miller. (March 8, 2002) By Any Other Name: What do Native Americans think of sports teams named after Indians? Retrieved July 26, 2007 from http://www.nationalreview.com/daily/nr030802.shtml

Associated Press. (October 9, 2006) N.D. officials sue NCAA over 'Fighting Sioux' ban. Retrieved July 26, 2007 from http://www.firstamendmentcenter.org//news.aspx?id=17512&SearchString=mascot

First Amendment Timeline. (July 28, 2007) First Amendment Center online retrieved July 28, 2007 from http://www.firstamendmentcenter.org/about.aspx?item=First_Amendment_timeline

Founding Fathers including but not limited to: James Madison, Alexander Hamilton. (1789) THE BILL OF RIGHTS: Amendments 1-10 of the Constitution. Retrieved July 26, 2007 http://usinfo.state.gov/usa/infousa/facts/funddocs/billeng.htm

Sandy C Huckabee. Interview. July 30, 2007.

Image: http://www.bluecorncomics.com/naintell.htm © copyright 2007 by Robert Schmidt.
Copyrighted material is posted under the Fair Use provision of the Copyright Act, which allows copying for nonprofit educational uses including criticism and commentary.

Some lovely new definitions!

grammatolatry
[fr. Gk grammato- + Eng. -latry, worship of or fanatical devotion to] /GRAM eh TAL eh tree/ the worship of letters or words; fig. concern for the letter with disregard for the spirit cf. epeolatry

twitterpated
nonce-word love-struck, smitten
Nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the springtime. - Friend Owl, Bambi

carnaptious
[fr. Sc. knap, to bite] /ka(r) NAP shus/
Scots & Irish dial. bad-tempered, irritable, grumpy

These are just some random words I'd stumbled across recently- aren't they clever? Well- twitterpated isn't all that "new"- but, that it's even in a dictionary was satisfying! Makes ya wonder how much of our slang is "slang" anymore. Is it even considered slang if it's IN the dictionary? Why if it's in the dictionary then you can't use it in word games? I think that's a silly rule! OH- ha! And, speaking of word games... I finally broke 50k on text-twist online. I could always do it off-line but never online today, woohoo! So.... I lead an exciting life, eh?

Today is a much slower day that what I've had this past month. The p'rents finally returned from OH and took over Granny duty. I've spent the biggest part of it in the bed curled up with my favorite Sam-man. I wish I had a picture of him- he's all crashed out in the middle of my stack of magazines that I drug in here for some inspiraition. They are smooth and cool and he loves them on his "shaved" belly. Why on earth that cat has to shear off his hair is beyond me! He looks so ridiculous!

I discovered (duh!) that one of my fav DIY shows is hosted by a good ole Austin girl! She's mentioned TX several times, but- I'd kept not had a chance to look up her show until today- anyway, discovered her (Jennifer's) blog: http://naughtysecretaryclub.blogspot.com/

Saturday night-- and I'm not focused.

Am finding it difficult to choose a persuasive topic for my next speech.

I've read the chapter.

I've picked everybody's brains for their choices of topics.

I still can't commit.

Key items in selecting a topic are: knowing your audience (three of us are 35 or older and female) and the rest are 19 or 20 and male. Quite a difference of demographics there. If there wasn't quite such a large discrepancy; it might be easier to choose.

Choose a subject you are passionate about. Argh....there are so very many topics of which I am passionate.

The institutes of God (the Trinity), marriage and family.

Responsible Parenting.

Christian and well-rounded (or classic type) academic educations. Mandatory latin courses!

Responsible pet-ownership.

Political and civil responsibility including (but not limited to) being informed of current events and the foundations that our rights are founded upon- the Constitution.

American patriotism.

Personal accountability.

Proactive stances in health-care (not a demand for socialized insurance programs) but that the patient is given more credibility and that doctors are less likely to assume symptoms and diagnosis rather than taking a few additional moments to interact with the patient and find out if there are underlying and/or simultaneous ailments occurring.

Exercising the right to vote.

Exerice... on a pole or on the way to the poll!

Allowing other's free speech even when it's disgusting and in poor taste- because FREE SPEECH really IS what it's all about!

Healthy well-balanced outlooks.

Looking for the objective viewpoint.

There is nothing better than a classic romantic comedy for any afternoon.

The house of blues really DOES rock!

Trying new tastes and views- like Italy! or Oregon! ;-)

Total honesty- of course, tempered with kindness if it's a hurtful one.

Cats ARE people, too!

Art is subjective-- enjoy the parts you like and don't knock the rest.

Chocolate... it should be a part of the food pyramid.

Recognizing a good thing before and during the event rather than only afterwards.

The need to set a goal, and keep after it 'til it's complete.

It should be mandatory for all homeowners to plant perennials. Okay- that's a little out there- but, a nice sentiment nonetheless! Reckon I'm getting tired?? Hee hee!

Argh. I'm not getting anything writ! But this BLOG!

What to do? What to do? Maybe tomorrow I'll figure it out. In the meantime- I have an excellent idea for another blog subject! Dirty secrets and the family skeletons... when to say "mum"? when to blab? or blog as the case may be?? Tune in next time.....

Happy Birthday, Baby Boy!

Today marks the 21st birthday of my beloved son!

This photo is from birthday "5"- one of those milestones that passed all too quickly.

Since he's not really one for the spotlight, there won't be any big family celebration. His diet-choices have even stymied his Dad's suggestion of his former "favorite" pizza- so knowing how to honor this new adult is difficult. His Grandmother is fixing his favorite beef roast- and as soon as I get back from class I'm going to whip up one of his old favorite desserts-- a peanut-butter Jello mix.

So-- what do you give to the young man that is contemplating entering the nation's military and serving his country? I still think in terms of Legos and clever Disney characters to purchase for him- and yes, he does appreciate them still and to this day! Though his preference runs toward the sci-fi the older he gets- so, I won't be buying Transformers like items unless he specifically requests it.

This date has additional special meaning for me. My sister-in-law, Anita, served as my birthing coach and was a major player throughout. G-mother got me to the hospital on time and Anita was there (even before us) for the big event! While Byron was there- his role was more in observance and to count fingers and toes! He actually had that accomplished before the pediatrician on hand! I couldn't have gotten through that day without them- thanks all!

Happy Birthday, my Baby-Boy. My now adult-son.

Love you-

Mom

Happy 98th Birthday to Mae!

Ida Mae- my dear grandmother (known to all of us simple as "Mae") is celebrating her 98th birthday today! She just beamed when we sang to her this morning- and she's looking forward to seeing all of her grandchildren this afternoon!

The official "party" will be tomorrow and some very dear cousins will join us.

I have made a double batch of chocolate/butterscotch cookies and Mom has prepared three cakes. Our friend, Mr Sandy- will be making her a very special coconut cake and she overheard us discussing it today while I was checking to see if he needed any additional supplies he responded that he had about 20 white cakes mixes on hand already! I repeated that and she misunderstood and her eyes got big-- I just looked at her and said very casually- "oh, he's going to make a 20 layer cake unless you'd rather have it 98?" when she finally broke into a grin!

I think she'd rather we not make such a big deal of it- but, how often does a girl get to this age? In my family- this is the longest anyone has managed! Granddaddy made it to 97 and was so trying to make it to 100.





This photo is from Mae in her college days.

Wasn't she a dish?

I know that my grandmother was a wonderful dancer! Though my grandfather was crippled- he didn't mind her "taking a spin" with any number of their friends. My mom saw her dance once- I belive. Mae has told us of the best dancer partner she ever had- a fellow teacher when she was Dean of Women and taught at the Women's College in Magnolia. She said he was so light on his feet- that she fairly flew!

Mae's style has always been impecable. She knows what is "fitting" and still admonishes both my mother and myself to adhere to it- fashion wise. Looking at her in these pictures makes me realize from what a wonderful woman I'm descended. Knowing her as well and as long as I have- allows me to appreciate certain aspects that I never grew to with my other grandmother, Nancy (also a fine example of womanhood). I can only hope that if I should live as long as Mae- that I will be able to deal with life in the gracious manner that she has.

A true Southern woman.

With a lovely Carolina accent to her speech.

Happy Birthday, Mae! and May you continue to have Blessings and Grace in abundance!

Quiet Reflections....

"We who live in quiet places have the opportunity to become acquainted with ourselves, to think our own thoughts, and live our own lives in a way that is not possible for those who are keeping up with the crowd."

- Laura Ingalls Wilder


I just LOVE Laura! She has such good insight!

While my life these days is anything BUT quiet... of late I have lived in solitary. So have certain others. It really has given the benefit (time and space) to recognize those things that are important.

If you've been acquainted with my personal life and have made certain prayers on our behalf- please be aware that those many prayers have been answered.

Without going into any detail- I want you to understand that what has transpired recently is remarkably like the Berlin Wall. It came down quickly and without a shot being fired. Though many rocks are still left to be picked up and removed from that rubble- there are at least two people working on the project now (and metaphorically speaking) perhaps a garden will be the end result.

I appreciate all the support and love that you have provided. I try (really hard!) not to preach from this forum as it was designed to be primarily lighthearted and informative- but, to be honest... God's Word has not come back void, the Promises He has made have been proven once again and I claim Romans 8:28 ..."al things work together for good..." Since my beliefs are so closely linked to my levels of creativity- it's necessary for me to share with you- this good news.

I sincerely believe that my life has been blessed. With parents & siblings, husband & child, inlaws and friends (that's in order of appearance- not necessarily order of importance!) because if you don't know already- I'm here to tell you... my God is a loving God and He has given grace in measure beyond belief. Grace that transcends physical and material objects.

In other words-- I'm good. LIfe's good. And, like Laura observes- being in a quiet place without distractions allows us to be honest with ourselves.

If you can take the time for your quiet place- do. If you have to- make the time. I'm looking forward to a not-so-quiet place but, I'm ready for it!

~S

"How do People Die?"

The following is the speech I presesnted this morning -Dr A said it was the "most well-written outline he'd ever EVER had!" Yippeee! Now, if I could only present as well as I write! Ugh. Totally went over the time limit and had a couple of visual aid malfunctions- only scored an 84% but, it's OVER! I do have to present it again (in a longer format) as a lecture for Life-Fitness Concepts later this week... at least it's DONE and needs nothing else to be done!

I'm exhausted and going to take a nap. If you read this whole thing- you'll be taking a snooze, too!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
HENDERSON STATE UNIVERISTY
ORAL COMMUNICATIONS
SUMMER II- July 16, 2007

Title: Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) OR "How Do People Die?"

GENERAL PURPOSE: To inform of the silent killer: DVT

SPECIFIC PURPOSE: To inform of the risk and management of DVT

CENTRAL IDEA: Causes of hyper coagulability leading to the risks of Deep-Vein Thrombosis (DVT) and/or Pulmonary Embolisms (PE) occurance, diagnosis and treatment, and to raise general public awareness.

SUPPORTING MATERIALS:
1. Factor V Leiden/thrombophilia Support Site: http://www.fvleiden.org/
2. DVT Prevention site: https://www.preventdvt.org/
3. Pulmonary Embolism (PE)
http://www.merck.com/mmhe/sec04/ch046/ch046a.html
4. Venous Thromboembolism: http://www.clevelandclinicmeded.com
5. National Library of Medicine and Health http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
6. http://ask.yahoo.com/20051128.html, National Vital Statistics Report, 2006
7. http://www.genome.gov/15015167


I. INTRODUCTION

200,000 Americans will die throughout the year from deep-vein thrombosis (DVT) and/or pulmonary embolism (PE); more than from drunk drivers, AIDS, breast cancer or homicide.

DVTs are treated in 2 milllion Americans each year. Of those patients developing a first-time diagnosis of DVT- 75% were not aware of the risk- factors prior to the event and were unaware that there are preventative measures.

I have had multiple episodes of DVT since 1987 and suffer from resultant chronic post-thrombotic syndrome (PTS).

II. Risk Factors
A. Inherited or acquired predisposition to thrombophilia.

Thrombophilia is the tendency to clot or a blood-disorder. As a child I was fascinated with the Queen Victoria and her descendants- one in particular was Prince Alexei of Russia, a hemophiliac, whose mother's reliance on Rasputin to treat his bleeding helped bring about the end of Imperial Russia. Other than that- I had never heard of blood-disorders and to be honest- I found their murders much more fascinating.

1. it wasn’t until 1998 that there even existed a test to determine the most predominant clotting disorder, Factor V Leiden. Before that time, many folks died of clots not knowing why they had clotted.

I was diagnosed with Factor V Leiden heterozygous (one of two mutated genes) in Spring of 2007. The tests haven’t been performed yet to determine the presence of Proteins CNS and can only be drawn when I am off of blood-thinner, a risk in and of itself.

2. Five% of Caucasian Americans and 1% of African-Americans have FVL.

B. Cancer, Trauma, Advanced Age or Unhealthy Life Habits or Situations

Autoimmune disorders such as lupus, acute medical illness with restricted mobility, and certain heart or respiratory diseases can cause blood-clots or pulmonary embolism.

1. 60% of patients undergoing major surgery, such as hip replacement, who remain immobile in bed after operations without preventive treatment may develop clots

2. Age, smoking and obesity contribute greatly in the episodes of DVT.

3. Airline passengers on long-haul flights call it “economy class syndrome” and office workers that remain seated at their computers for extended periods of time without taking breaks (often called “desk jockeys”) account for 34% of DVT/PE.

C. Women’s Issues
Women are at a higher risk for DVT. Birth-control pills, Pregnancy and Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) are all contributing factors.

1. Healthy women taking oral contraceptives have a three- to fourfold increased risk of developing a DVT or PE compared with women who do not take birth control. Women with factor V Leiden who take OCPs have about a 35-fold increased risk of developing a DVT

2. PE is the leading cause of maternal death associated with childbirth. A woman’s risk of developing VTE is six times greater when she is pregnant.

My first known episode of DVT was at age 24 during childbirth, with repeating and devastating occurances in two additional pregnancies.

While doing family genealogy it was discovered that one great-grandmother died not long after pregnancy. If you are researching family medical history- In the “old days” it was often called “milk leg”.

III. Symptoms

Often called the “Silent Killer” because as many as half of all DVT episodes
produce minimal symptoms. A number of other conditions display similar symptoms and mask the true culprit until the misdiagnosis can be corrected or results in death.

1. Leg pain, swelling (called edema), tenderness, discoloration or redness of the affected area and skin that is warm to the touch are the most significant of DVT presentations.

2. PE events are characterized by chest pain, shortness of breath, heart
racing or pounding, passing out or sudden death. These episodes can be a result of a fragment of clot breaking loose from the vein wall and traveling to the lung or a clot forming directly in the lung.

3. Symptoms frequently misdiagnosed include: charley horse, muscle sprain, twisted ankle, sore or achy muscles.

4. PTS or post-thrombotic syndrome occurs in 20-50% of patients after a dvt-event and usually is established within the first 2 years after the acute thrombotic episode. It is a disabling chronic condition consisting of leg pain, swelling, hardening or calcification of veins and skin and ulcers.

IV. Diagnosis

While there is a blood-test to determine if the blood is too thick- only x-rays or ultrasound are thorough in their conclusion.

1. Venous ultrasound is the least invasive of the tests.

2. Contrast Venograms are x-rays that display the clots by injecting radiographic material into a superficial vein.

3. EKG, Chest x-rays, arterial blood-gas and lung scintigraphy for PE’s.


V. Treatment
Treatment for DVT, PE and PTS are limited - all medications increase the risk of bleeding, allowing for bruising and are one of the hardest drugs to manage with interactive medications.

A. For clots caught early in development- clot busters (tPA) may be administered.
B. Blood thinners take a while to regulate and require rigid prothrombin monitoring. Foods rich in vitamin K (leafy green vegetables), soybean, green tea and a a variety of herbal supplements are to be avoided.
1. Heparin injections may be given through IV or injections.
2. Lovenox injections must be given subcutaneously (in the belly).
3. Coumadin or the generic , warfarin is commonly called rat-poison.
C. Leg elevation with compressive therapy and/or extremity pump.
D. Compression stockings or TED hose are the mainstay of therapy- many times the extremity must be custom fit which takes additional time, is expensive, and not covered by many insurance's companies including the Medicare system.

VI. Famous celebrities having DVT or PE.

A. Survivors
1. Vice-President Dick Cheney
2. former Vice-President Dan Quayle
3. HIllary Clinton, former first-lady and NY senator
4. Lainie Kazan, actress “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”
5. Terry Francona, Manager Boston Red Sox
6. Victoria Principal, actress “Dallas”
7. Ian Anderson, lead singer & flutist for “Jethro Tull”
8. Bonnie Bernstein, sports-journalist ABC-Sports and ESPN

B. Deaths due to blood-clots or related events.

1. David Bloom, NBC journalist, FVL
2. Shawntinice Polk, University of Arizona basketball player
3. Tammy Wynette, Country singing star
4. Harry Agganis, aka “the Golden Greek” Boston Red Sox
5. Dan Blocker, actor of “Bonanza” fame
6. Cesar Romero, actor played the Joker in TV-series “Batman” aka “The Latin Lover” and “Cisco Kid”

CONCLUSION: Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) is a common but elusive illness that can result in suffering and death if not recognized and treated effectively. You can prevent DVT- Don’t smoke! Exercise regularly! Be aware of subtle symptoms if sitting for long periods of time.

Mush, mush and more mush!

This is pretty neat! It was on the soccer field next to my Life-Fit class this afternoon. I thought it was because it had been raining so much- and just had to shoot it. Came home and googled it- and this is what I found!

The name fairy ring comes from an old folk-tale. People once believed that mushrooms growing in a circle followed the path made by fairies dancing in a ring. Fairy rings are found in open grassy places and in forests.

The largest fairy ring in North America is recorded at Olympic National Park and spread over 600 feet in diameter, meaning those fungal systems are 500 to 700 years old. One ring formed in France by the fungus Clitocybe geotropa is almost a half mile (600 m) in diameter. This ring is thought to be 700 years old.

Can you imagine?

So... just what causes a fairy ring? Imagine my surprise to discover that all those 'shrooms are part of just one organism!

A huge threadlike, musty-smelling mass, called a mycelium, lies beneath the Fairy Ring. This fungus is the culprit. It starts small, maybe a spore or with fungus pieces. Growing outward in all directions, it secretes chemicals in the ground ahead to prepare the way. The chemicals break down living matter and release nutrients for the advancing fungus.

For a brief time, the grass ahead flourishes. Then the fungus reaches the lush area and feeds. Like an advancing horde, the fungus strips the land of food, moves on, and abandons the stripped turf. That's why it forms a widening ring-to gain new ground and food. That's why the grass behind dies-it starves. Mushrooms, the fruit of the fungus, spring up just behind the outer edge of the fungus.

Cool, huh?

~S

Speech! Speech!

first off- I'd like to thank my gardener, my cousin's therapist and the local EMT squad. If it hadn't been for all of them- I'd never have made it to see you here tonight on this occasion: the inaugural meeting of the Guild for Grammatolatry Obstreperous Tardis and Cat Lovers.

Oh! Wait!

Wrong speech. Cheezy grin!

Okay- I was yanking your chain! I'll admit it! You knew to expect it! Admit it- if you read my blog- you already KNOW me and how I love to say "gotcha!". But, the audience I presented the following speech to this morning doesn't have that type of rapport with me, nor have they had the opportunity to read y'stdays entry (some of which I used and will be repetitive to you) and it worked! You should have SEEN the expressions on the faces! Too bad the camera was trained on me! I'd have given anything for you to have seen Dr. A's face!

I made it through my first speaking assignment. And, it was fun...once I quit shaking!

To be honest- I was as nervous as a cat; and you could almost see me shedding. No- wait. I already had that on there, compliments of Samson! If there is someone to be acknowledged- it would be Sam. He sat with me through all the drafts. And, the practice speeches. He's a very good listener. If you want to practice your speech- come on over... he'll listen. Wrigley will, too- but, he won't sit through the whole thing without begging for a treat.

Anyway- I made an 94% for an autobiographical speech. Get this-- he counted off for (his quote) "you keep standing on one leg". DUH! Yeah? No kidding! HA! I wonder if I should tell him you can't count off for disability? I'm just not even going there! I'm happy enough with 94. If he gave me those points back then some of those freshmen would have to really work their fannies off. Nah. One of the young women is Pakistani (sp?) and she REALLY did a beautiful job on her speech- that's who those freshman really have to compete. She's a whippersnapper!

However, next week's speech is "informational" and I also have to have one for Life-Fit that is health-related but not a "worn-out" topic. One student is a ballerina and will discuss special diet for their skin needs and another is to present how to get the proper fit of shoes. This is a no-brainer for me. I'm going to speak on Factor-V and blood disorders. Kill two birds with one speech and let him "figure it out". I really do look forward to hearing those speeches in Life-Fit though! It's a kinda cool class... the focus is more on the training aspect than the nutritional and I'm being encouraged to join the Health club as there is a Zumba instructor in our midst and she's just SURE I'll love it and she's gonna work with me (no charge!) on other regimens. Woohoo! I'd better buy a new bra- ROFL!

Oh. Zumba. https://www.zumba.com/index.cfm

And.... now.... for the Speech! Forgive the outline form. It was required and I'm not gonna go reformat now- hey! I'm a college student! I need to be STUDYING not BLOGGING for pete's sake! But, this is where I get most of my thoughts released-- so.... without further ado.....

I. Introduction:

To describe my life thus far as typical- would be accurate. Except for the UFOs. LIke many of you, (students of traditional age), I never really figured out what I wanted to do with my life- a friend likens this familiar scenario to a “wireless router looking for an IP address”. As a 20-year old, the one thing I really knew- “for sure & for cert” was: that I wanted to be married and to be a mother. That’s when the UFOs began to appear. They’ve been showing up regularly ever since. I probably should explain. My term UFO describes an UnFinished Object- not an extraterrestrial.

My reason for taking this Oral Communications course is to begin attacking the UFO’s and this assignment offers a chance to reflect on what will be necessary to “making the connections.”

II. Defining me by my different names and how I got them is one way to figure out where I’ve been and identifies a UFO.

A. My legal name is Sarah S~~~ K~~~ D~~~~. I am named for one great-grandmother and another g-grandmother’s family.

B. Most of my friends and family call me Sally- a recognized nickname for Sarah- (like Jim for James). Some call me Sarah-Sally. When I was in the first-grade a student from the local Indian reservation transferred to our class and the only English word she knew was our name: Sarah. It was much easier for me to answer to the nickname and let her be called by the more formal name.

C. My son calls me “Mom”. I’ve had that name for almost 21 years.

D. My virtual persona is arkyartist. I create and write under that name. The prefix “arky” is because I was born in Fayetteville and called the Razorbacks even while growing up in Texas. The suffix “artist” is the title I’d like most to legitimize. It’s the name that I struggle with the most. It’s what I view as an UFO because I want it to be bona fide.

III. Defining me by the jobs and positions I’ve filled is yet another way to see the unfinished portions of “me” and just how I arrived here.

A. I have been a laborer and a storeroom-maintenance clerk in a sawmill. I know what a babbitted bearing is & how to grade logs.

B. I have been a cash-audit clerk for a major retailer, a secretary for this University and a self-taught advertising compositor for the local newspaper. I have freelanced sports-photography, designed advertisements for national publications, billboards and web-sites It fueled the desire to become a graphic-artist and people I’ve worked with have used that as my job-description even though I’ve never completed a design course.

C. I have been a Sunday school teacher, an AWANA Commander, a coach for a state-ranked Odyssey of the Mind team, served as a school board member for a Christian School and am Constitution chairman for the local chapter of the Daughters of the American Revolution.

D. I am a caregiver for my 97-year old grandmother, my family & pets. I serve coffee and a smile!

IV. Reviewing my past educational experience illustrates how I set myself up for my UFO encounters and how I can better prepare to address them this time and identify more potentials.

A. I started college after having graduated high school and like so many other young people- didn't really have a clear goal of what I meant to do with that experience. Perhaps, it was because actually becoming an interior designer or architect seemed so unrealistic that the part of figuring out how to "get there" never even got to the drawing-board.

B. In 1980 I declared business as my major (thought secretarial science was being phased out by that time) and most of the classes I took were preparing me for an office-related vocation. From the looks of the transcript, I'm ill-suited for that area. Though I'd like to think that I've got a head for the classic term of "pencil-pushing", I'm not really good at doing anything more than organizing and filling in the blanks on forms. To be honest- I don't enjoy it much.

C. I am much more inclined for the abstracts like art or creative-writing and this time I'll pursue pushing a different type of pencil. In a bold move, I declared a double major of Art and English.

D. My plans may change again and I might only take a minor in English. I’m flexible, the important thing is it’s all working towards completion of a project.

Conclusion:

From a more mature perspective and having lived a little- this educational experience will be different and fulfilling. Identifying the lists of achievements, UFOs, and reviewing my transcript; better allows me to acknowledge my strengths & weaknesses, visualize new dreams and act upon them. If I can finish in three years- it will have taken me 30 years from start to finish and will banish at least one UFO.

T H E E N D

Now- I'm off to find some grub! and to work on tomorrow's assignments! Ciao!

Just how long will it take?? or how an UFO takes over!

Just how long will it take??

In the immortal words of my lil' brother... "that will take a l-o-n-g time!"

This was his response as a little boy when told he must clean his room before he was allowed to enjoy some outdoor activity.

It's been an oft quoted phrase in my family ever since that time. If any of us kids were facing a challenge and weren't making much movement towards the effort- our parents (or one of us) would recite it.

Well- after this week- I'm saying it to myself!

This week was the first week of the Summer II semester. And, just what does that have to do with UFO's? Well.. I may have bitten off more than I can chew and I just hope I don't live to regret it!

Let me explain. In an effort to tidy up- I began to make lists of things that were uncompleted. Craft and house projects mainly comprised the list. Can you believe it? I've got nearly 40 year old uncompleted textile projects that haven't been devoured by moths! There were a couple of items not exactly relating to those subjects that kept popping into my head and I couldn't put them under those categories. So... another list began. My official "Un-Finsihed Objects" or UFO list is wide-ranging and has some other really old items.

One of those UFOs is education. I started college right after graduating high school and like so many other young people- didn't really have a clear goal of what I meant to do with that degree. Perhaps, it was because actually BECOMING an interior designer or architect seemed so unrealistic that the part of figuring out how to "get there" never even got to the drawing-board stage. To be honest, I really think all I for sure knew I wanted to do was be a wife and a mother, which seemed much more likely- so I didn't put much into pursuing the pipe-dreams and it never got finished. That's not to say that I didn't accomplish something; I am a wife and a mother- not to any acclaim- but that's a whole 'nother anguish and part of an entirely different list.

Back to the topic- in 1980 I declared business as my major (because secretarial science was being phased out by that time) but most of the classes I took were preparing me for an office-related vocation. From the looks of the transcript, I'm ill-suited for that area. Though I'd like to think that I've got a head for the classic term of "pencil-pushing"- (I can type like the wind and organize!) I'm not really good at doing anything more than filling in the blanks on forms and filing alphabetically. And, to be honest- I don't enjoy it.

From my more mature perspective and having lived a little- I knew all the above without even looking at the lists, transcript or seeing the scores from the asset tests; but this time I'm able to acknowledge it and act upon it. And, have a much better idea of how to set a goal, form a plan (with backup alternatives) and the chutzpah to get there.

I am much more inclined for the abstracts like art or writing and this time I'll pursue pushing a different type of pencil. I declared a double major of English and Art. It's bold. It may be that I have to minor in one. If I can finish in three years- it will have taken me 30 years start to finish. GOSH! At least I've something to work towards and taking off the UFO list!

And, yes, dear brother-- it WILL take a VERY L-O-N-G time!

Sal- signing off.... who had best be finishing writing her speech rather than filling up idle words in cyberspace!

Oh, GRACIOUS! What have I done NOW???

note: this is the first installment of a saga.

It all started innocently enough.

I needed a particular image for a little craft project and I needed it hand-drawn. I gave it my best shot- and wasn't pleased. My goodness! If I took a drawing class I might could get it at least to look half way like what it represented!

Hmmm..... maybe I should just sign up for a class?!

Uh-oh!

Somebody should have STOPPED ME!

I'm going to live to regret this! I just KNOW IT!

Since there is no local hobby store, I took myself up to the local University. To take the drawing class, I had to enroll for the course. To get enrolled, I had to be readmitted. To be readmitted meant they had to dig out my old transcript. OUCH! No- no one was injured in the registrar's office! And, the file wasn't 6-feet under like it should have been! But, it's UGLY!

Suffice it to say.... all this just to draw an ELK is over-board as usual!

I am now taking not one but TWO classes for the Summer II semester and neither are drawing! It's only offered in the Fall. Duh.

But, the classes I'm taking are fun! Well, sort-of. They might be.

WHAT??? Why AM I doing this? Oh- yeah. I remember now. The elk.

I thought to self- "Self, might be a good idea to see if you can even endure sitting through class period FIRST!".... that's when I signed up for an advanced English course on American women authors. Turns out- that's only an option for grad- students AND as it's a TBA topic during the summer and the instructor decided on African-American lit instead. UGH. Well... not exactly what I had in mind.

Back to the "drawing board" (pun intended!). Okay... I'll take one of those Mickey Mouse courses (required) and therefore mundane in my thinking. Why, OH WHY do I keep doing that??? THINKING??? You can bet trouble is looming. After reviewing the schedule- I opted for Oral Communications (3 hours) and Life Fitness Concepts (1 hour credit) thinking "this'll be a piece of cake".

OH MY LORD! I think I'm going to be sick! 'er... no... I AM SICK! Sure enough. I got so intimidated after the first class and listening to all his expectations of what all we'd have to cram into four weeks, preparing and giving speechs and taking tests that I had to excuse myself. I had fully expected (and given him notice) that my leg would dictate just how long I could sit still and might have to be allowed to "walk it off"- who knew this other (IBS) would flare?

Classic.

The original project was insignificant.... the preparation time with hurdles to conquer before even beginning to see the results will take weeks if I can endure. I'm turning into my mother AND I'm going to have to take medicine just to get through it!

I only hope it's worth it! After the fourth day- I'm finally getting "in the groove" of being a student. Even took my first exam yesterday!

This could be fun... even if I'm little scared.

Fireworks.... ala Kim & Sally!

The colors of freedom!

Red, white & blue ('er... green if you believe the photo here, haha!)!

Hope you had a lovely 4th of July!

The photo is from the fireworks display over Lake DeGray. Enjoy!

Itching & bitching!

OUCH!!

I got stung (or is it bit?) by a few dozen fire-ants yesterday. Immediately I put bleach on it- stopped the pain right away. But, today- they are all whelped up and MAN! do they ever burn and itch! Adding insult to injury- the majority of them are on my legs and wearing compression stockings over them is atrocious!

So... I'm NOT a HAPPY camper!

I was intrigued to discover the chemical composition of ant venom! Makes me wonder.. do those little guys have to pass chemistry in order to exercise their stingers? NO! So... since I didn't TAKE chemistry... and I certainly don't understand the "Asymmetric Induction via an Intramolecular Haloetherification Reaction of Chiral Ene Acetals" should I have to suffer?? HA!

Home remedies? Please send ASAP!

Happy Flag Day, G-mom's B-day and Valley Forge

It's Flag Day! Our nation has had this special symbol for almost the entirety of our nation's existence! THANKS, BETSY!

And... it's always easy to remember Grandmother Nancy's natal day because it's the same date! I wish she were here to celebrate it... we did certainly miss her and all of us shared special memories of her over supper.

Earlier in the day, Robin and I drove the eight DAR delegates to Hope for the Caddo district Flag Day meeting. While it was a lovely meeting, full of interesting historical presentations- it was the climate that got the most comment. It was FREEZING in the conference room at the Country Club. Even the women with hot-flashes were cold! A few smart little ladies keep afghans in their vehicles (obviously their husbands keep the thermostats on "snowflake") and they actually retreived those and we all wished we could huddle with them!

The photo is from when we got home. Mae of course hadn't gone with us- and the ribbons that we are proudly sporting weren't delivered until after we'd left (so disappointing!)! But we wanted a picture of three generations of "Daughters" and while it's against protocol- we pinned on the emblems and Dad snapped the shot. The ribbon I'm wearing is actually Mae's- she's never had one until today; but, she wants to share it with me- yeah! Mom's had hers (with Alexander Turrentine as the patriot) for a while. Robin's has the newly proven Ellis Cannon as the designated patriot on hers. While mine and Mae's also has Alexander for the ancestor bar- she is the first in our family to be eligible for the second bar as she's the only one with a supplemental line officially recognized. More explanation on that at another time!

Suffice it to say- some of the women that were in attendance at the conference had upto twenty ancestor bars. GOSH! That's a l-o-t of research!

At any rate-- celebrate being an American! And, fly your flag proudly!

Mack's Swell Car Was a Maxwell!

Country roads... take me home!

I've been going down memory lane a lot lately... seems only fitting that it should be in a vehicle of the appropriate age!

So... in honor of Grand-daddy- here is a 1910 Maxwell. This image is actually from a Revel model kit; but, will suffice until the actual 1908 model is restored and ready for pictures! I'm putting together quite a collection of photographs and articles dedicated to the project.

A few interesting tidbits about the Maxwell Motor Company.

It was started by Jonathon Dixon Maxwell. Would love to know the genealogy behind his middle name! Maybe I'll chase that rabbit later.

Maxwell automobiles were considered to be among the best racing machines of the era. In 1916, a Maxwell touring car set a coast-to-coast record, speeding from New Jersey to California in just ten days and sixteen hours!

One of the most famous non-owners was Jack Benny! While he and his sidekick, Rochester, routinely made reference to his old Maxwell; and it was often-time heard- it was actually Mel Blanc (the legendary voice of Bugs Bunny, etc) that made the engine sounds! In the comedy gag- tightfisted Benny would never "upgrade" his old jalopy and at one time during the War effort he contributed it to the scapmetal drive, thus creating a whole 'nother bogus myth. Many pilots would claim that their aircraft was sputtering or worse and blame it on Benny's Maxwell having been part of the recycled material in their craft until finally it had to be revealed on the show that it had never actually existed.

There was a popular song around the 1910's titled "Mack's Swell Car Was a Maxwell". I wish I had a copy of that sheet-music! Bet it's a delight! Or even better an Edison copy. haha.

One of the advertisements for it claims "only costs 29 cents a day to run this Maxwell 100 miles a week" WOW! Sure wish it were true today! I'm sure it's gonnaa cost a whole lot more than gasoline just to get it up and running!

But, for a labor of love- it'll be worth it. I just wish Grand-daddy were here to enjoy it.

Seventy three years ago...

My grandparents were married!

Mae's recollections of "the day" were that she wore a pale pink dress that she had embroidered large flowers on the netting. Pa was almost late to the ceremony because he had sent his suit to the cleaners and the lady that ran the boarding house had to track down the owner of the shop as they had closed early that day. They were married in the Methodist Church in Hope and drove that evening to Dallas in Pa's old model A. They were on their way to Austin TX to grad-school for the Summer... little did they know; but, my Mama would be born exactly 9.5 months later!

Mae and Pa (pictured here) on a much later vacation to one of their favorite Western destinations! Yellowstone and the Tetons.

Happiness! to June couples everywhere!

Moonriver

Yes! I've fallen in love with this tune AGAIN!
For the umpteenth time! I just can't seem to help myself!

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm being controlled by some weird moon-beam or somethang considering how I seem to keep having lunar thoughts! Oh! Duh! I get it... Sheer LUNACY!

Back to the topic: Mnozil Brass is an Austrian group. Phenomenal! I just wish they had more on iTunes!

Click here to go to the utube performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkiZlL0YI0s&mode=related&search

And, for a truly FABULOUS cover of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody:
I just wish I knew the language to get all the jokes at the end!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBLm747tyn0&mode=related&search=

Perhaps it's the GROUP, though! They are just so uber-excellent! Oh!! And... in case you're wondering? Those are European instruments they are playing! A tad different than what we're accustomed! But, they sure do sound good!

Without further ado... to their site!
http://www.mnozilbrass.at/home.html?&L=1

All Propped Up and Nowhere to Go....

Tis the season after all! June.
The month for brides, beautiful landscapes and flowers!

And, if ya over-do it on either event- you're gonna pay the price. My expense in this? Three days minimum on the sofa. While my muscles and adrenaline are still at a high-peak - it's hard to make the brain slow down! I've just got so many ideas swirling around- why is it that levels of creativity and inspirations avalanche when the rest of the body can't participate? Thankfully- the lap-top has begun to work again and I can finally surf in some comfort! Can't edit photos from here- but, I can write. I'd much rather be playing artist with paint and ink, though!!

The reason for confinement this time? Though my yard desperately needs some hedge-trimming and I'd sworn that it was to be the next "big" project- a friend and a wedding took "the cake"- haha. I just hope the city doesn't decide to fine me for the overgrown privet.

This past weekend was the wedding of a young man (a class-mate of DS's). They are just 20 years old and beginning a new relationship- so young! I couldn't help but look at them and realize that we were at that same age when we were married. Just children! I just can't imagine our parents allowing us to do such a thing while still wet-behind-the-ears! Except of course, that it IS the idealism of youth and the natural progression of growing up (especially if you are Southern) and of a Judeo-Christiam background!

The groom is a personable young-man who has already experienced a lot of growing up during his few years. His parents divorced while he was very young and his mother died in a car accident before he was a teen. Since that time, he has lived here in AR with his grandparents. His bride is a lovely young-woman from a nearby town whom he met at a band contest four years ago and since then, he's only had eyes for her.

They are both very laid-back college students (think budget conscious)- their choices were very simple and they wanted to host the entire event themselves. Being that the best-man's mother, Kim, has been a mother-figure to the groom all these years; she chose to provide the reception food as her gift to the couple. She's very VERY good at hosting these types of events and her husband makes the most delicious of cakes! My part in all this? She's my dearest friend and I'm second best at reading her mind and able to do general flunkie work for the right price (free!). Besides- I have a soft spot for young couples!

Kim has spent hours mapping out, preparing lists and researching the most cost effective (and tasteful) recipes. I love being a guinna pig!! When it came time to set it all up- I figured it would take an hour or two to dress the tables (banquet and seating) and since so much of the food was pre-prepped; I just knew it was gonna be a "piece of cake"! I'm so glad I'm not the one who drew up the master-plan! I would have passed out if I'd actually known the estimated time of each activity required to prepare for an hour long reception! She truly could be an event-coordinator for any major entertainment venue!

We started Friday morning. The wedding was at 3 pm on Saturday afternoon. By 6 o'clock Saturday evening, I was TOAST! She tried to give me all the sit-down jobs there were, but I finally cried "uncle" and went directly to my grandmother.

I didn't see much of Mae (or my dog- thanks to some wonderful dog-sitters!) all weekend; but when it was finished... I had to go and thank her again for such a wonderful banquet she and her sister, Clarice, had made for us on our wedding day (almost 25 years ago). I remember knowing at the time that she'd stayed up all night the night before my wedding (it's a tradition in our family that the wedding dress is still being sewed upon until the very last minute!) but, I recalled too- of their tale about going to the grocery store at 3 AM for more chickens for chkn-salad cuz they were just sure they didn't have enough! Amazing to me that we even had markets that were open 24-hours back then or that she had the stamina and energy at that age! I most assuredly come from strong-stock!

Clarice or "Pargie" as our maiden-aunt was known to us- was very sick at this time with pancreatic cancer; she died just a few months later. One of the recollections of that particularly weekend was that she laughed aloud (like we'd not heard her do in months during the treatments) when my mil's friend, Johnnie, joined them in the kitchen while putting out the buffet. I get all weepy when I think of my Pargie- how she was suffering, how much she loved me and my groom (she thought he hung the moon!) and how she was a romantic at heart and wanted nothing but happiness for young-lovers. I'm a lot like her in all those respects!

My! How time flies and how life goes in circles.

To young-newlyweds and to the young-at-heart... may you have a lifetime of happiness.

And as so happens in life- along with the joy comes the saddness. Kim received a phone-call from one of her staff that one of the physical-therapists had been found dead (possibly from natural causes). The woman was our age and has two daughters (one a senior in high school and one a college student) that she has raised as a single-mother and loved gardening. She was well-liked by all her co-workers (this is the fourth recent death in the extended family of the department); her family and the staff need lots of prayers and uplifting.

Once in a Blue Moon

Tonight's moon is BLUE! and just WHAT does that mean??

Interestingly enough-- there is a mathematical equation for it!

once in a blue moon = 1.16699016 × 10-8 hertz

Go figure!

Another explanation is found here:

http://www.obliquity.com/astro/bluemoon.html

and.... http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2007/30may_bluemoon.htm?list61925

This photo is a false-color composite image of the Moon from 425,000 km



The image was created using 3 exposures through different filters. The exaggerated color helps determine surface composition (blue is titanium-rich, orange lower titanium, purple pyroclastic, red iron and titanium poor). Mare Tranquillitatis is the blue area at right, Oceanus Procellarum is the blue and orange area on the left, the 85 km diameter Tycho crater is at bottom center, and Copernicus crater is just above and left of the center of the image. The moon is 3,476 km in diameter and north is up. (Galileo, P-41491)

While the image isn't blue... it does offer a totally different view of our lunar companion.

While out walking the dog tonight- the moon was just rising through the last of the clouds from our recent rains. It was such a spectacular sight and I wished I could have photographed it myself! Since that wasn't happeneing- I decided to blog it instead! And, of course I have to research anything and everything first... so....

go ahead and google "blue moon" and discover as I did that the phrase "once in a blue moon" has several definitions; but, suffice it to mean "not very often". The most interesting thing I discovered was that it is possilbe for a year to have two blue moons! Not often- but, about every 19 years or so!

http://www.infoplease.com/spot/bluemoon1.html

After all these thoughts on the moon- "the man in the moon" naturally followed and natch I had to google that, too!
While I'll not bore you with the details of that search-- I will encourage you to find a copy of Reese Witherspoon's first movie "Man in the Moon"- a really Southern coming-of-age story that takes you back to an innocent era. It's one of those that I watch about once a month... it never occured to me that it might (or might not be) lunar tidal related!



Disclaimer: the spell-checker feature isn't working and I won't be held accountable for the typos! I can spell and if allowed to make all corrections orally, I'm sure I could compete in the Nat'l Spelling Bee... but, that's a whole 'nother blog!

In the beginning....

or how it all began!

Five years ago this month-- my dear friend, KH, begged (cajoled) and twisted my arm into attending a National Scrapbook Day event with her. "Bring a few pictures" she said. Now, by this time- I had been already resigned my graphic-arts job designing ads for the paper and freelancing for the Lady Tigers and knew that I much preffered web and digital lay-out to the paper format.

BOY! Did I ever have any idea where this would lead? NOPE!

The AR-scrappers challenge for this year's National Scrapbook Day was to revisit your first lay-out against your current work and see the changes! Oh, boy! I kept meaning to post it- duh. Anyway... without further ado....



Golly! That first lay-out could sure use some paint, ink and stamps- haha! S'cuse the quality of the image- I cheaped out and just took a photo rather than actually scanning the stuff. YU? I really did enjoy getting my very own trip down memory lane though! And, of course- "baby boy" is soooooo cute in those pics! Sheesh!

Too Punny!

Sorry-- I just couldn't resist these! I would have made them into signature lines... but, who has the time?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

* Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

* Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

* The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

* When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

* A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

* A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

* Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

* We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.

* The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

* The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

* The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

* If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

* A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

* A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

* The optometrist fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself. [That's a story that lens itself.]

* Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

* A backward poet writes inverse.

* In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

* A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

* With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

* Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A - flat miner.

* When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

* The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

* A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

* You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

* He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

* A boiled egg is hard to beat.

* He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

* His parents thought he was a budding genius, but he turned out to be a blooming idiot.

* A plateau is a high form of flattery.

* Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

* When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

* When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

* Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

* Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

* Acupuncture: a jab well done

Laura Ingalls Wilder... quote & more

"Memories! We go through life collecting them whether we will or not . . . Let us make them carefully of all good things, rejoicing in the wonderful truth that while we are laying up for ourselves the very sweetest and best of happy memories, we are at the same time giving them to others."


- Laura Ingalls Wilder -

I have long been a fan and admirer of Laura I. Wilder. I still reread at least one of her books every year. My favorite? Well- the first of course! And, the "Big Winter" which I can only read during the Summertime as it makes me so cold!

One of my fondest desires is to take a "pilgrimage" to Laura & Almonzo's home at Mansfield MO, Rocky Ridge Farm. I'm hoping that the sisters will join me. Too- my dear friends, Kim & Doralisa, are also die-hard Laura fans. Perhaps we will all get to gather there and enjoy the stories that transcend the geographic distances of where we all grew up, but that unite us in girlhood!

Here's another link:
http://www.lauraingallswilderhome.com/

This month is the 75th anniversary of the publcation of Laura's first book. ENJOY!

Rune-Sore-Bees

I've written many times about how I love a good "Spoonerism" or "Monde-green".

Well..... here's yet another! Enjoy!


Rune-Sore-Bees
===============

Language proficiency is part of the international contracting
scene. This exchange between an English-speaking traveler and a
member of the hotel staff in a Far East hotel was recorded in
the Far-East Economic Review.


Room Service:
Morny. Rune-sore-bees.

Hotel Guest:
Oh, sorry. I thought I dialed Room Service.

Room Service:
Rye, rune-sore-bees. Morny. Djewish to odor sunteen?

Hotel Guest:
Uh... yes. I'd like some bacon and eggs.

Room Service:
Ow July den?

Hotel Guest:
What?
Room Service:
Aches. Ow July den? Pry, boy, pooch...?

Hotel Guest:
Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled please.

Room Service:
Ow July dee baycome? Crease?

Hotel Guest:
Crisp will be fine.

Room Service:
Hokay. An Santos?

Hotel Guest:
What?

Room Service:
Santos. July Santos?

Hotel Guest:
Ugh. I don't know... I don't think so.

Room Service:
No. Judo one toes?

Hotel Guest:
Look, I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what "judo
one toes" means. I'm sorry.

Room Service:
Toes! Toes! Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow cenglish mopping we
bother?

Hotel Guest:
English muffin! I've got it! You were saying toast! Fine.
An English muffin will be fine.

Room Service:
We bother?

Hotel Guest:
No. Just put the bother on the side.

Room Service:
Wad?

Hotel Guest:
I'm sorry. I meant butter. Butter on the side.

Room Service:
Copy?

Hotel Guest:
I feel terrible about this but...

Room Service:
Copy. Copy, tea, mill...

Hotel Guest:
Coffee! Yes, coffee please. And that's all.

Room Service:
One Minnie. Ass rune torino fee, strangle aches, crease
baycome, tossy cenglish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy.
Rye?

Hotel Guest:
Whatever you say.

Room Service:
Hokay. Tendjewberrymud.

The QUEEN! and other royalty.

For a long time, we have referred to my dear grandmother as "the Queen"!

She truly is a marvelous woman and has the dignity and grace that is the quintessential epitome of royalness.

Even though Mae's circumstances have changed so much of her world (i.e. the isolation that immediate hearing loss leaves one with); she has remained true to her character. She still tries to stay up to date with current events and when the conversation is one-on-one she offers insights and wisdom that are well-thought out. She keeps herself occupied and while she's frustrated with her lack of production- she doesn't dwell on it or make excuses.

The problems of adjusting our habits to accommodate her limitations have got to be frustrating to her. We so often forget to turn and speak to her directly- and oftentimes I realize it too late and the conversation has totally passed her by.

We had a guest yesterday that came to see all of us- but, particularly her. The seating arrangement in the living area has been carved out to accommodate her comfort- but, doesn't allow for the participants in a conversation to focus in her direction.. thus- the natural tendencies to focus lively dialogues in the direction of the ones participating in it leave her "out". I think we all realize it; but, remembering to turn aside and loudly emphasize a potent part of the conversation to her often disrupts the flow of speech and for this- I regret. There were several sweet little anecdotes that I'm sure she would enjoy and because she was actually physically there in the room (and we assumed that she heard them) when the guest left and one of us mentioned one of the stories- Mae was completely blank.

To her credit- she's not upset. But, it's so unfair.

Then... there's that other queen... Elizabeth.

Watched the newly released movie last night! What an eye-opener! I'd not read anything about the movie except that Helen MIrren had been awarded an Oscar for her portrayal. Didn't realize it was about "THAT WEEK" of Di's death. Lots of interesting perspective into the possible mindset of HRH.

Great movie. Great acting. GREAT scenery.

Also watched "The Last King of Scotland". The title alone intrigued me. Again, hadn't read anything more than Forrest Whitaker had won the Oscar. Very difficult to watch the graphic parts of this. Well made; but, I don't like watching psychos.

Think I'll have to watch something lighthearted and not near so thought provoking next! Hmmm.... "Night at the Museum"? That title appeals!

Random Rabbit Chasing

I need to exercise something awful! Both physically and mentally.

I'm healing (it seem so slowly!) but still have unexplained pain, fatigue and nausea. The nausea is the weirdest and most bothersome. The least bit of activity (especially the contortionist positions of putting on the compression stockings) seem to trigger it and some sort of dizziness. I don't know if it's from the gallbladder or the hyster- but, it sure puts a hiatus on participating in much "life".

The rib area pain still catches me off-guard; but, I'm more than accustomed to anticipating it and have an arm or pillow ready to press against it. I must look akin to Napoleon! Haha!

All this to say- I've got to do something to clear the cobwebs from the brain. I find that writing works! In reading over my journaling- it seems disjointed and jumps from topic to topic; but, that's the way I seem to be functioning these days. Thoughts are random and sometimes it takes great effort to "force" a complete thought without fluidly taking off in another direction. Now, why is this? My pain med is non-narcotic and I only take it late in the evening, I'll be glad when this hung-over feeling goes away.

One of the random thoughts that keeps repeating is Lady McBeth's quote: "Out, OUT, damned spot!" I was hopeful that I'd quit spotting within a few days of the surgery... alas- it can go on a few more weeks. Ugh. At least it's nothing like what it was even a month ago... imagine! I thought I was going to have to endure two immense menses a month for the rest of my life!

A pleasant diversion that one of the sisters left me is a whole bunch of slides that were discovered during the "great move". There are pics from Mae's trip to Mexico with cousins Sue & Ray; lots of Key--- family trips, Christmas holidays, birthdays and even some of my darling son that I'd never seen! Why the family always took slides rather than traditional pictures is beyond me-- but, at least we have technology to recover them... now... if I could only stay focused long enough to scan, edit and title them. By the time the scanner completes the task (and it's a newer scanner, but it still takes a couple of minutes) my brain has chased another rabbit and it may be a while before I complete the whole batch.

Have sat up too long for now. Must go recline. Thanks for the encouraging emails, friends! I leave you with a photo of me in a state of bliss! Dreaming of canoeing down the rapids! This is about as close as I dare get to them these days! Note the stylish cats-eye glasses! Doesn't my front yard look different!

Blasts from the Past...

This darling little image is from a music box that was a gift to our very dear Grandmother Nancy.

The tune it plays is Eidelveiss; a favorite that we sang together over and over.

But- the little girls were always representative of the three Key--- sisters. Though we were never that close in age- any time we found art that had three little girls featured- we always "claimed" it!

I'm happy to say that many years later- though we haven't always been geographically or emotionally close; when a crisis crops up... we are quick to make contact to reaasure one another and to reaffirm the appreciation and love we hold for each. This week- I have heard from both of them.... and I know that no matter how HARD and difficult our futures can be; we are in one another's corners.

So- I offer this comforting glimpse of beloved sisters. And, can only say that seeing both of them this past month (in real life) was not only physically healing but heart-warming as well.

Celebrate the shared moments and sisterizms.

Aloha, Don Ho....

Life is so coincidental and spontaneous. Earlier this weekend, Doralisa and I were talking about Hawaiian dialects spoken by her family who grew up on the Islands. My reference is of course, Don Ho- and I interjected that into our conversation.

I loved "Tiny Bubbles" growing up (among other songs) and remember fondly watching his specials growing up.

Tiny Bubbles

Tiny bubbles in the wine,
make me happy, make me feel fine,
tiny bubbles make me warm all over
with a feeling that I'm gonna love you 'til the end of time.

So here's to the golden moon,
and here's to the silver sea,
and mostly here's a toast to you and me

Tiny bubbles in the wine,
make me happy, make me feel fine,
tiny bubbles make me warm all over
with a feeling that I'm gonna love you 'til the end of time.

Tiny bubbles in the wine,
make me happy, make me feel fine,
tiny bubbles make me warm all over
with a feeling that I'm gonna love you 'til the end of time.

With a feeling that I'm gonna love you 'til the end of time.

Anyway- his death this weekend is poignant and coincidental to our conversation. Click on link above to read of him through yahoo.

Life's like that, I reckon. Anyway... aloha, Don.

ala Sallllllleeeee

Thanks to K.H for the avatar!

Real Answering Machine Messages

Some days... I just need something hysterical. Today must be one of those days. These are from mil, enjoy!

Real Answering Machine Messages
================================

WE ARE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
But we're not home right now. So leave a message at the tone, and we'll assimilate you later.

Hello, this is KVKE, you're on the air. (or) Hello, you're caller number nine!

This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name and number, and recite a sentence using today's vocabulary word. Today's word is "supercilious."

Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.

I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.

Thank you for calling the CSU Automated Hearing Test Line. Prepare for Test 1. Is this tone louder in your left ear or right ear? ... BEEP

(Rod Serling imitation:) You're dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world without time, where sound collides with color and shadows explode. You see a signpost up ahead -- this is no ordinary telephone answering device... You have reached, "The Twilight Phone".

Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system.

Lucifer speaking. Who in hell do you want?

This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System. This is only a test.

(Recorded directly from AT&T:) We're sorry, but the number you dialed is disconnected or no longer in service.

Hi, you've reached 340-2359. We're not peeb eht retfa egassem ruoy evael esaelp os ,won thgir emoh. gnillac rof uoy knahT.

The number you have reached, 226-0477, has been changed. The new number is 226-0477. Please make a note of it.

You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of YOUR voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you.

(Klingon voice:) ANSWERING MACHINE. SPEAK.

You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep.

Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I die before I wake, Remember to erase the tape.

Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.

A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.

Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

(Narrator's voice:) There Dale sits, reading a magazine. Suddenly the telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of toilet paper, with Dale in the middle of it, his arms windmilling at incredible speeds! Will he make it in time? Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain. The bell hath sounded. Thou must leave a message.

Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

I'm sorry, the number you have reached is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and dial again.

Factor V Leiden and the consequences....

Just what is Factor V Leiden (or FVL) and why am I writting about it now?

Visit the link above for "what" it is (in layman's terms). The reason I'm focusing on that today is because it explains some of what is going on with me. Not that I'm anxious to add yet another disease or illness to my ever-growing list.. but, had the test been around years ago and had I been tested- I might not be in quite the predicament I find myself in today.

For instance... I probably wouldn't have tried to bear children. I would have definetly found a different gyn to treat more agressively the female organs rather than believing the old rule of thumb "if it ain't broke-don't fix it" cuz it WAS broke and should have been out of there a long time ago.

I would have been on coumadin therapy for life after the first round of clots and the bum leg might not be in such bad shape.

I would have been a lot more astute about recognizing gall-bladder attacks for what they were. Yes- these may be related. Sister- go and get yourself checked NOW. If you need your g/b out- we'll do it together! Surely, the surgeon could offer a two-for-one special?? LOL!

I would have given more consideration to chasing dreams earlier in life rather than waiting til a more opportune time. Now that I have the time- I don't have the phsyical stamina or "shape" to chase them. Oh, well.

At least now- TODAY, I know. Finally. Definitevely. Without a doubt. I'm a FVL carrier/patient and hope that there aren't any other mutations to follow... problems with that mean that they cascade and cause certain other complications to other body parts. Joy.

Questions? Comments? Prayers? All of the above.

lorum ipsum dolor (sit amet)

"Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit..."

I was told I REALLY needed to say SOME thing... there, I've now said some.

Ciao.

The Wit & Wisdom of Benjamin Franklin

"When you're an Anvil, hold your sill, when you're a Hammer, strike your fill."

"William because his wife was something ill, uncertain in her health, indifferent still, h trn'd her out of doors, without reply: I ask'd if he that act could justif. In sickness and in health, says he, I am bound to keep her, when she's worse or better found, I'll take her in again, and now ou'll see, she'll quickly either mend or end, says he."

"Many princes sin with David, but few repent with him."

"To be intimate with a foolish Friend, is like oing to Bed with a Razor."

"You may sometimes be much in the wrong, in owning your being in the right."

"He is a Governor that governs his Passions, and he a Servant that serves them."

"Prodigality of Time produces Poverty of Mind as well as of Estate."

Oh, JOY! Oh, RAPTURE!

It's not the Canon Digi-Rebel I'd dreamed of... nope. BUT-- I feel like a whole person again! It's really hard being an artist without a pallet. So! I finally broke down and though I just couldn't commit to the one I really wanted- I did commit to something! Yeah!

Took it straight out of the box and had it flashing within moments of the battery going in! Ahhhh... I felt instant relief. As if I'd been panting for liquid and had just been doused! Of course- hadn't any superb subjects to snap, so just got chur basic cat and dog being petted by the Mr! Made Mom cheeze it up with me for a self-portrait.. showed her how easy it was to use. I think she wants one, too-- hint, hint- Daddy! I figure you'll want one, too- as it's so much quicker than our old outdated digi cameras that are only three years old! Imagine! Such speed and quality-- and as Byron was commenting: he'd paid $400 something for a top of the line 1.5 megapixel five or six years ago and had a real "Christmas story" fiasco and the last one available kind of story to go along with the present!

Anywhoo-- I'm in business again. I was commenting to Mom that thankfully- the old camera had died almost within hours of my departure from visiting friend, Doralisa- that was back in September! I've been THAT long without a lens! OUCH!

I feel almost like a human again-- no.. better! Am singing today! And, yes- I did go out really early and snapped a few pics of the heavy frost and the sunlight pouring into our old oak tree that was shedding leaves like a shower. Kinda pretty-- the bright orange glow and the leaf show. I'll hook everything up and post it later-- I'm off to dash off after more scenery!

~S

Melodius Morning!

OHMIGOSH. I'm just sooo behind the times.

While viewing a friend's blog (DL has a great blog! http://cyranogal.blogspot.com/) I realized that the "quote of the day" changed all by it's little self! Now, I'm not a really dummy.. I just act like one (somedays!) and had realized what a RSS feed was- but, hadn't thunk to put a clever QUOTE one (or something much more interesting than the weather stats) to use on a blog! DUH! Anyway.. I had to go the quote site.. and instantly found a lovely quote!

Music is the soundtrack of your life.
~Dick Clark

LOVED it! So appropriate! Now.. why didn't I think of that??

I guess that thought explains why I love my iPod so much! cuz... I can orchastrate my whole day with it! Set the mood! For instance.. I drove to LR yesterday in the Firebird and went shopping. It was definitely a bluesy kinda day! All Stevie Ray Vaughan, Louis Prima, Storeyville, Steve Winwood and Steve Miller Band. Uh..never though of it-- but, I have a lot of St's and Steve's there!

On my kind of date with dh-- if I had the chance to make a play-list (not happening with that strong-will!) it would include Michael Buble, Rod Stewart's Standards remakes, Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennett. Mmmm.. can't forget Harry Connick! Since I live in the real world-- and dh, has a very different set of taste- it would be a little Chicago, SRV, classic 70's rock selections and plenty of southern boogie.

Ahhh... the soundtrack of your life! That'd make a great title for a scrapbook page as well!

And since I posted this... another musical quote came my way... don't know whom to attribute it- but, it's good!

" Music is the only sensual pleasure without vice. "

Enjoy!

Brownie Points!

I received a clever e-card (a Nestlé chocolate one at that!) from my girlfriend, DL, this afternoon-- just had to join the website and they offer "brownie points" for submitting a baking memory... well.. that's not too hard!

This is what I immediately thought of--

One of my fondest childhood memories is learning to bake cookies under thetutelagee of my very dear great-aunt, Clarice, a spinster that we called Pargie... a toddler's version of "partner".

Pargie made the best cookies in the world- and when I married, the only thing I was any good at cooking was Toll-House cookies and a few other baked items. I didn't even know how to boil pasta for macaroni. My husband had to teach me that! I think he married me for my cookies!

I always think of my Pargie when I stir up a bowl; I live in the same house and bake in her old kitchen now and have taught my son nieces and nephews to appreciate a really good chocolate chip cookie! I know Pargie would be proud!

Go there.. join up.. spread some chocolate cheer and read the recipes... YUM!!

Down right dirty art....

... and NO! I'm not talking about porn!

Scott Wade is a graphic artist in Texas and has discovered a most unusal medium for his art. His car! after having driven it down his dusty road!

Gotta give the guy credit... he's a real down-to-earth kinda guy!

Link to his site (from my subject title above) to see lots more of his creations.

My favorites of course are the VanGoghs and the Vermeer... but, he has a lot of other masters and original art as well.

Enjoy!

Help me! Somebody help me!

Commercials. You either love 'em or you hate 'em.

I have a new one that I just laugh myself silly over (and have to imitate) every time I hear it! I even like it so much I learnt myself how to import it into a sound-mixer program and edit the darned thing down to just the funny part! How SICK is that?? LOL!

Oh! So you're wondering just WHICH TV advertisement I'm finding so amusing?? It's none other than the Geico commercial featuring Little Richard assisting (read that embellishing) an everyday consumer tell about her experience of having a traffic accident (on Thanksgiving Day, no less!) and the wonderful customer service she had from the insurance giant.

"WHOA! Look out! Look OUT! Help me! Somebody HELP ME! Mashed potatoes, gravy and cranberry sauce... wooooo-hooo--hoooo!"

What a HOOT!


As I was doing my search for the video- I discovered that Burt Bacherach had one, too... haven't seen that one yet (except on you-tube) and wasn't too impressed with that. The MB reviews I found on it weren't all that complimentary either. However... the Charro commercial was fairly well received, I like it, too- but, not on the scale that I like the Little Richard ditty. For the record.. the opinion seems split on the reviews about Lil' Richard, too-- but I like it! My Mama likes it! We get the giggles (pretty often) and when we REALLY get silly--- one or the other of us will spout off that phrase! It just seems the perfect exclamatory remark for so many situations!

Shopping on eBay and ya just sniped that lovely pewter plate you've been wanting? "Whoa! Mashed potatoes and gravy and cranberry sauce... wooooo-hooo-hoooo!"

Find a really great piece of kitchen equipment (like a food-scale! or something) on the Clearance aisle at Wal-Mart? "Whoa! Mashed potatoes and gravy and cranberry sauce... wooooo-hooo-hoooo!"

You trip over a new ancestor line that somebody just posted on Ancestory.com? "Whoa! Mashed potatoes and gravy and cranberry sauce... wooooo-hooo-hoooo!"

You can see just how useful this phrase can be? Oh my! I just get revved up typing it! I'm gonna have to go play my .aif file again! Good thing I've got it uploaded to iTunes... now I can intersperse it with my great rock-n-roll I've added this week!

"Whoa! Mashed potatoes and gravy and cranberry sauce... wooooo-hooo-hoooo!"

Enjoy your mashed potatoes! Oh.. and if you want my edited version.. just email me!